Book News!

I am super excited!!!  I have been waiting for my book proofs to come and yesterday THEY CAME!! 
They had told me that the cover may have to have some adjustment so I could not hardly wait to see what it would look like.  It is a little different (more like I had originally wanted it).  I LOVE IT!  I cannot wait to share it with everyone!  I also had to read through the "inside text", which is my life, to make sure I was happy with the layout and design.  I am happy to say that I sent it back with only 3 adjustments!  After those adjustments are taken care of, it's DONE!!!  Wow, I have been on this journey for so long it feels a bit strange to think that it is coming to an end.  But as this phase ends I know that a much different phase is just beginning, and I am SO EXCITED!  The Lord has filled my heart with this love story and I am ready for it to be told!  I am ready to tell it! 

As I read through the "text" of my book yesterday I was reminded once again just how far Daddy God has grown me and I was (and still am) overwhelmed my His LOVE for ME!!!  Then I daydream about the future He is leading me into and my heart feels like it is on the verge of bursting =)  

So now I just wait..... but I have found so much joy in the waiting.  After I sent in my transcript and began talking with the publisher about the process of publishing, I knew there would be "wait" times.  I'm normally not a very good "waiter"!   Then, the publisher suggested I start this blog.  My first thought was, oh no!  I really had no idea what I was doing. But I dove in and just worked my way through!  I began to pray for God to show me how to increase my blog.  I knew He was working on my behalf and I just trusted that He would show me what to do. HE NEVER DISAPPOINTS!   He has sent me a helper (I will share more about this later).  I will say that, just like He always does, He has sent the perfect person to help me!  He never does anything halfway, but always wants the very best for His children =)    I also must say that it didn't take long at all for me to fall deep in love with the world of blog!  God has blessed me through the lives of those who have joined me on this journey. 

GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!  SO GOOD!!!!!  There is absolutely nothing He cannot do through a willing child!  He has given me BIG DREAMS!  I dream them on purpose!  I dream them almost like I am practicing them before they come to pass!  Oh, the things He has in store!!!  Hope, joy and excitement rise up on the inside of me and fuels my expectation for my future!  It's gonna be WILD; it's gonna be GREAT; it's gonna be FULL OF HIM!   (from the song; "Come away with Me" by Jesus Culture)  I listen to this song and just allow my Daddy God to minister to me =)


BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Excerpt From Book

Today I am posting another excerpt from my book (soon to be released!).  In this chapter I recall the day I was called to the Hospital (as a volunteer for DVP).  The lady I write about has since become a very special friend and she has written a book about her experience.  He story is of amazing strength and power to regain her worth.  *A must read!  The title is "This Woman's Worth:  Reclaiming Life after Trauma"  by: Pam White

Be encouraged today that Daddy God is working even when we do not see it with our natural eyes!  That which the enemy intends to destroy God The Father can restore to fullness!!!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

It was a beautiful spring day in May. A storm had come through a few days before and uprooted a pecan tree beside our house, and it landed in our home! We had to go stay with Max’s grandmother until our house could be repaired. I had just left work and stopped by the house to grab some more clothes for Max, Hunter, and me. I was in a hurry and packed a bag quickly and was heading out the front door when the phone rang. I almost just kept going because everyone who knew us knew that we were not staying at the house. But I answered the phone, and it was the Rape Crisis Hotline. I was not on call, so this caught me off guard. The lady said that she needed me to go to the hospital to meet a rape victim. First of all, I had only taken one phone call to listen to a lady on the other end talk about being attacked by her husband. I had not made any hospital visits. In our training, we were told that there would be a supervisor to go with us on the first few visits to guide us in how to handle ourselves. I informed the lady from the hotline that I was very new and had not even been on a hospital call before, AND I wasn’t even on call this day! She said that she had made several phone calls and I was the ONLY one she could get a hold of! I was very nervous, but at the same time I knew what it was like to be sitting at that hospital with no one there with me! I said I would be on my way. When I got in the car I called my friend and told her what was going on and that I was really nervous. She prayed with me on the phone, and I felt a peace come over me that told me that I was right where I was supposed to be, doing just what I was supposed to be doing. I felt completely led by the Lord. But I was still nervous!

When I got to the hospital, I had no idea where to go or what to do. I walked in and told the lady at the desk all the information I had been given. I was told to go to the hospital to meet a woman named Pam who had been raped, stabbed, and beaten. I was so not prepared for what I saw when they took me into that room! The first thing I noticed was that she had bruises on her toes!! She had wounds from head to toe! Then I looked up and saw two familiar faces. Two of the other ladies in the room were parents of kids that attended the child care center where I worked. I soon found out this was their sister! I told Pam that I was very sorry and would be praying for her and for her family. I also told her to call me if she needed me for anything. I spoke briefly with her sisters, who were very upset. I assured them I would do whatever I could

to help them. I told Pam that I had experienced being attacked myself, and that if she needed to talk, I would be there for her. I left the hospital, but I could not get Pam off my mind. She was the reason I was doing this work. I knew that my calling for this time was to minister to her and share with her the healing that would come from our Creator. I felt almost immediately that all that soul-wrenching writing that was my journal was for her! I do not believe that God chose for either of us to be raped. That only happened because of the evil in this world and the free will of people who had opened themselves to the evil one. But God knows all things past, present, and future, and He prepared a supernatural work through me that would change her!

I love when God takes what the enemy intended to destroy us with and turns it for good to glorify himself! He is not only our strength but our Healer!

I kept up with Pam through her sisters and a few weeks later, I told one of her sisters about my journal and that I felt led to share it with Pam. She thought it was a great idea. She said Pam had refused to talk about her attack with any of them. I gave her the journal to take to Pam. Pam kept it for a while. I was quite nervous the whole time she had it. I prayed for God to use it to heal her and comfort her. Finally after a few weeks, I got the journal back and Pam had written this note to me:

Dear Teena,

Thank you so much for sharing your journal. At first I thought it would be too hard to read, but I found much comfort in knowing you have experienced and understand a lot of what I feel. Your journal, and you, will be so much help to others. I have felt very alone and did not want my family and friends to experience my pain. I know that many women have suffered this same fate. I hope that I can be like you and continue to get stronger. I’m trusting God to get us past this and to a better place.

Thank you for your support!

FREE

John 8:36  Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed!

There is power in saying out loud, "I AM FREE!"  When the enemy throws daily junk in my face all I have to say is, sorry devil but I AM FREE!  I do not have to ingest the lies of my enemy because the TRUTH lives inside of me =)  Sound too simple?  Well, God did not create us to jump through hoops and live confused.  He created us to LOVE HIM and LOVE OTHERS!  YES, it is THAT simple!

The deeper I love Him, the easier it is to love others.  I am amazed at times when I look back over my journey and see just how deep His Love has taken root in me.  I can almost physically feel it. 

I have come to a place where I give myself completely to God and I trust that The One that created me, knows me, and loves me, will cover me and provide for me.  He goes before me and prepares my path!  THAT IS FREEDOM!  I do not have to worry or try and work things out because He has already done it for me.  All I have to do is TRUST Him!  He tells me to renew my mind with His Word.  I replace every lie of the devil with His TRUTH about who I am and WHO I belong to =)   The same God that CREATED ALL OF HEAVEN AND EARTH favors ME!  That is all I need to know!  I do not have to worry about how others treat me because I am favored by Daddy God!  I just love, (and the more I love the more I love!).  Receiving justice when I am treated unfairly doesn't control me, I only crave GRACE!  HIS GRACE! 

I am a Daughter of The KING OF KINGS!  I walk in His favor!  He is my DADDY GOD!!!!!
Nothing is too big or too small for Him.  I can trust Him for everything, and I do! He has never disappointed me =)


Tomorrow I will be sharing another excerpt from my book that is soon to be released!




BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

False Hype

So yesterday got pretty interesting in our area in the way of weather!  We had some storms a couple of days ago and yesterday morning the media started building up all these storms and warning of strong tornadoes.  By early afternoon there were reports of 3 teams of storm chasers headed to our town because we were the "hot spot"!  One of the storm chasers said he was predicting that the storm and it's damage was going to be EPIC!  Local media predicted we were going to have the worst outbreak of tornadoes that we have seen in years! 
All the while, the sun was out and the wind was mild.  It lightly rained of and on during the day. 

We had to take our boys to get haircuts after school.  A few local schools sent the kids home early, and businesses were closing early!  All to go and prepare for these EPIC storms!  I had to take a couple of my kids to the dentist after lunch and all the talk at the dentist office was about the storms that were coming and the storm chaser that were arriving.  I had taken scripture to read while waiting on the boys and I tried not to listen to the other parents talking. 
Later, after school, we all headed to get haircuts and the weather still looked fine.  No dark clouds our heavy rain.  Waiting on the boys to get their hair cut I started looking up the weather.  I kept noticing that I couldn't see anything on the weather map!  The line of storms had not even formed yet and all this hype had put us all on high alert!  Max kept telling me to stop focusing on the news reports.  We came home and lost electricity but the EPIC storms never hit us!  We had been calling them down and claiming Psalm 91 throughout the day and evening.  We cooked outside and played cards using the light from a lantern.  The lights came back on around 10 pm but all the kids had already gone to bed and Max and I went to bed soon after. I  had a really good nights sleep, too =) 

It was so interesting to me how all that hype cause so much fear!  It had not even formed yet but we were putting our faith in the weathermen and other media!  I am certainly a work in progress, growing stronger everyday but I saw first hand yesterday that I do not have to put my faith in man!  I have a knowledge that supersedes this world.  I have God's Truth and all I have to do is stand on that and believe.  God says that He has given ME all authority over the enemy and his destruction!  I do not have to posses fear when I stand up to the enemy!  I have the authority to call for protection over my family and property!  Now, that's some truth that I can build up and it's not just "hype"!  IT IS REAL!  God it real and His Word is real and true =)

Thank You Holy Spirit for living on the inside of me! 

Satan wants to take us out but I for one am going to continue to renew my mind and build my Spirit man STRONG!  I strive to be on guard and ready at all times!  So, when the devil comes to try and destroy I will stand up STRONG and boldly say, "NOT ON MY WATCH!!!!!" 

PSALM  91

¹HE WHO ^[a]dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power NO foe can withstand].
    ²I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!
    ³For [then] He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.
    ⁴[Then] He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you trust and find refuge; His truth and His faithfulness are a shield and a buckler.
    ⁵You shall not be afraid of the terror of the night, nor of the arrow (the evil plots and slanders of the wicked) that flies by day,
    ⁶Nor of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor of the destruction and sudden death that surprise and lay waste at noonday.
    ⁷A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near you.
    ⁸Only a spectator shall you be [yourself inaccessible in the secret place of the Most High] as you witness the reward of the wicked.
    ⁹Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place,^{(A)
    10}There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent.
    ¹¹For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].
    ¹²They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.^{(B)
    13}You shall tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the serpent shall you trample underfoot.^{(C)
    14}Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness--trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].
    ¹⁵He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
    ¹⁶With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation.


BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Storms

Although I have a hundred topics I want to blog about today my mind is fixed on the weather!  We have had some pretty ugly storms in our area the past couple of weeks and last night was a bit scary!  I acknowledge that I have dealt with my fear of storms (tornadoes) and I have come a very long  from the nights of dragging (and I mean literally dragging) Max and Hunter into the closet during a storm.  I have had full on panic attacks before and during a storm.  I associate storms with the night I was raped because it was storming that night.  In my mind for years storms reminded me of bad things happening.  I believe that was a curse!  The enemy planted that in my mind and it took root deep inside of me.  I have worked really hard at uprooting that lie and as I sit here right now I have all the confidence in the world that I have all authority over that fear.  When the skies go dark and the trees bend from the wind however I seem to shrink down to that girl that has not yet learned she has power! 

Thank God that I know where the fear comes from and that I have found TRUTH to cover the lies.  Satan cannot take my power and authority away but he does try and distract me.  NOT TODAY!  Today I am going to fill myself with God's TRUTH and His truth tells me that fear is a spirit, and it does NOT come from God! 
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Tim. 1:7)

Talk about God sending a word right on time!  As I was writing this blog (and struggling over my fear and the storms that are predicted for this afternoon and night), God sent a beautiful vessel to speak a word to me!  My friend stopped by and I was telling her what I was blogging about and how I can feel so confident before the storm hits and powerless when it arrives at my front door.  She reminded me of Peter!  How his confidence faded as he took his eyes off of Jesus!  She told  me to keep my eyes on Jesus (and what He has said).  I am so thankful that God sends me friends that know The Word and are not afraid to speak it when needed!!! 

I have a lot to do today and I am praying for the weather to be stable and for no damage or injury to come from any storm that may develop.  I am now going to write a few scriptures down to put in my pocket so I can speak it when needed and share it with those around me =)

Today seems to just be a rambling of thoughts!  BUT, I am strong in the Lord and I claim the truth of 2 Tim. 1:7....I do NOT have a spirit of fear but POWER, and LOVE and A SOUND MIND!!!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

MONDAY!!!!!

My goodness!  It is already 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I am just now sitting down!  I have noticed over the past several weeks that when I open my Facebook page on Monday that every other post is about how bad Monday's are!  I decided that I was NOT going to speak ill on or about Mondays!  THEN I woke up this morning and when my feet hit the floor my toes could tell it was Monday!!!!!  hahahaha 

I struggled with the kids, getting chores done, getting MY chores done, errands in town, this and that!
I finally got to eat BREAKFAST at NOON!  That is when I realized I had not prayed, read my Bible, or even had the TV on!  (We usually watch Creflo and Joyce in the mornings; and yes, we ARE on a "first name" basis!)  hehe

The weather has been a bit unstable lately and in the middle of my chaotic morning I looked out the window and it was really dark and stormy looking.  I have overcome so much in the area of fear and in particular, storms, but his morning I felt it rising up!  I felt nervous and my mind started turning on me.
I really had to take those thought  captive!  I understand now why the Word says we have to put on the WHOLE Armor of God.  If one part is exposed it can cause damage to the rest! 

I have now had some time to clear my mind of all the distractions that I know came from the enemy today.  I have replaced wrong thoughts with TRUTH =)  I have prepared myself and when my kids return from school we are finishing this day off with some JOY, PEACE, and REST!!!!  Ok, the "rest" part is just for ME!  hahaha  But JOY, and PEACE will be had by ALL!!!!!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

The Stranger in Chruch

So today is Easter Sunday and the people I invited to come today came!  The house was packed out this morning so we were all sitting close =)  Service had started and we were all standing and worshiping when someone tapped me on my shoulder and asked if there were any open seats on our row (I was sitting on the outside).  I looked down the row and every seat was filled but I asked everyone to scrunch up so we made room for a young man who was by himself.  After a few minutes one of the ushers came and added a chair for the young man at the end of our row.  I felt drawn to him for some reason so I asked God to speak to my heart regarding this young man.  We finished singing and sat down for the sermon.  I knew the Lord was drawing my heart to this guy and my heart started to race.  I didn't know what I was supposed to do but I knew there was something.  (I did minister to him but I'm not going to post it for his privacy and because I didn't do it for any recognition).  I only post about this because I believe it encourages others when God moves people in His Name!  And because It was so exciting and I want to share ALL that God is doing in and through me!!! 

Our pastor went on to teach a life changing truth on POWER!  He talked about how we have the power and authority over fear, sin, sickness, satan, and our past!  We have the power to receive and become all that God has created us to be!!!  The number 1 on the list, fear, has always been a big one for me.  In fact, I am a work in progress in the area of fear.  I have to continually renew my mind with what God has to say about me!  (2 Timothy 1:7 and Hebrews 2:14-15).

Just as I heard Daddy God telling me to minister to the stranger sitting beside me today I had to speak to my fear.  I was afraid of saying something to him, would he think I was weird?  I just said to my fear, "You do not control me"! 

After the service I hugged the stranger that had become a part of my journey and told him to be blessed!  I trust that the Lord will complete the work He started.  I trust that God is moving and changing this young man.  I don't know if I will ever see him again but my life was very blessed today for the short time he was in it and my life will be forever changed by the POWER of sowing seed into the life of a stranger =)

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

SPEAK

Our mouths are containers of much power and they can carry life-giving force or death! 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it (for death or life).   Proverbs 18:21

Our words not only go out (to affect others), but the bible says that we will eat the fruit of our words, which means we digest our own words!  I have literally spoken myself sick before!  You know, those days when you wake up and you don't feel well.  You start by speaking what you feel.  "I don't feel good", "my back is killing me", my head hurts", "I am so tired".  This list goes on and on!  I learned a while back that there is a difference in FACT and TRUTH.  There are many natural facts in life, but the TRUTH (what God says) always supersedes the facts.  For example, the 'fact" may be that I feel pain in my body, but the "Truth" is, I am healed in the Name of Jesus!  I can start to SPEAK that Truth over myself until the Truth over-rides the fact! 

After I had Hunter I started having migraines.  They always came on really quick and always rendered me helpless.  It would start with my vision going blurry and feeling nauseous, and I would have to take medicine, get in a dark room and close my eyes.  The good thing is they almost always passed pretty fast as long as I treated them immediately.  This went on for months and I finally went to the doctor.  I had to keep a journal of everything I ate, what kind of laundry detergent I used and cleaners I used for a time so that we could figure out what was triggering the headaches.  It was BLEACH!  Every time I would even smell a hint of bleach my vision would start to blur and I would get nauseous, and the migraine would kick in!  So I just avoided bleach as much as possible.  Over the years however there have been times that it was impossible to avoid.  I could walk into someones home or a store and if they had used bleach, bam, migraine!  Last week, Max needed to bleach our kid's bathtubs so he was just going to do it while I was out of the house.  I came home several hours after he used the bleach and as soon as I walked in the back door the smell hit me!  I freaked!  I started trying to figure out where I was going to go to get away from the smell because I did NOT want a headache!  I went into our bedroom and noticed I could not smell it in there.  So I just stayed in my room with the door closed while Max opened windows and aired out the house.  The next morning when I woke up I could "feel" a migraine coming on!  Every time I would blink my eyes, I would see a flash of light and as I got into the shower I was dreading what I knew was coming and I was already preparing myself to be down for the day!  When all of a sudden I thought, wait a minute!  I do not have to accept this!  I have always said, "I'm allergic to bleach" but standing there in the shower, out loud, I SPOKE BACK!  I said, out loud, "I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO BLEACH!"  I said "NO!" 

I spoke it and I believed it and there is nothing "kooky" about it!  It is TRUTH!  Sickness and disease comes from the enemy, NOT God and I do NOT have to take it!  I started singing (I was just singing out of my heart)!  I got out of the shower (withOUT a migraine) and cranked up some praise music!  I started dancing around the house (something I am doing more and more!).  Now I am not going to go out and sniff a bottle of bleach but I will continue to speak healing over myself. 

I can go to The Word and replace every lie of the devil with THE TRUTH of God!  I am learning to keep negative words out of my mouth and speak positive words instead.  Even if I don't feel good, I say, "I am well, and I am blessed".  I am strong, and smart, and I CAN do all things through Christ!  He has called me to do some things that far exceed my natural ability but I don't have to rely on my own ability!  I have Christ living in and through me =)   I am a powerful woman of God! 

The good news for today is that God is no respecter of person, so that means all these things are available to YOU too!  If you are thinking I am a strange lady you are right!  By the worlds standards I am "out there"!  But let me tell ya, there is Joy and peace out here!!!  So, come on out! 


BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Jesus Party!

My sweet hubby, Max loves to hunt and fish!  He can fish all day and not catch a thing but he loves just being on the lake.  For a hunting trip he will spend weeks planning, securing time off from work, making sure he has everything he needs for his time in the woods.  He will sit on his deer stand for hours at a time, just watching the woods.  He loves to watch nature.  These are the things that he is interested in. 

I have a friend (and no it's not me!  haha), who is a huge sports fanatic!!!  They will watch football or baseball for hours and cheer for their team with everything they have!  Yell, jump, clap and laugh!  I have even heard them say after watching a really good game that they wish it could have gone on a little longer!

Back in the day when I was still hanging out partying, I would spend hours drinking and dancing!  Never worried about time.  I was having  fun and hated when it would end.  I could go out 2 and 3 times a week! 

My point is that when we are involved in the things that interest us and bring us joy (even if it's only temporary joy), we give of ourselves and we do it without worry of time or even looking silly!  If you have ever watched a sports fan get excited at a game (good or bad), at times they look really silly! 

This brings me to JESUS!   I asked myself, how interested in Jesus am I?  How big of a fan am I of Jesus?  Am I willing to devote my time to celebrate Him?  Do I plan and prepare to be present in fellowship with Him?  Do I enjoy, really enjoy being in fellowship with Him?  Am I willing to celebrate Him?  Celebrate Him without the fear of looking silly?  I sing and dance all over my house with Him when I'm alone.  Why would I not possess that same freedom at HIS HOUSE?  Why would I get anxious in church when the clock hits noon and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight??? 

I LOVE being in my Daddy God's House!  I love to be free and not ashamed when I worship Him!  I know that there is a time to be reverent but there is also a time to CELEBRATE!!! 

Today is Good Friday!  The day that Jesus was beaten, made fun of and suffered beyond our comprehension!  So why is it "good"?  Because this is just the BEGINNING of the story!  The end of this story comes on Sunday!!  Easter!  The day He is ALIVE!!!!!!  Our Savior was crucified and buried and was RAISED FROM THE DEAD!!  He was DEAD and then made ALIVE!!!!  This is cause for some serious CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And from all I know about celebration and parties, the more people you have in attendance, the bigger and better the party!

So I plan on attending a big ole party Sunday to celebrate my risen SAVIOR!  This is the best party because nobody is left out!  EVERYONE is invited =)   Please accept the invitation and let's have a JESUS PARTY! 

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Word To Your Mother!

I'm having a hard time focusing this morning!  I have the song, "Ice, Ice Baby" stuck in my head!!  hahahahaha  So just for fun, every time one of my kids asked me a question this morning I would answer with, "word to your mother"!!!!  To my surprise it made things much easier!  Because most of the time when they ask me something they already know the answer, they are just asking to stall or put off completing a chore, or they just want to talk. 

I think maybe my brain is tired because of lack of sleep last night.  Hunter had a soccer game out of town yesterday so I waited up for him to get in.  He came in at midnight and after giving me the highlights of the game I went to bed around 12:30 am.  I thought, oh I am going to get some good sleep tonight because I could hardly hold my eyes open.  As soon as I got settled I realized that I was wide awake!  I have been asking God each night before I go to bed to give me good dreams and visions, so last night (this morning) I tried to get my mind on good dreams and visions.  Then the first storm hit!  Rain, lighting and thunder!  Usually at the first should of thunder my feet hit the floor and I am up walking the house, looking out windows, checking on kids.......but last night I just lay there, calm!  This is not like me at all.  I have come a long way dealing the fear of storms, but this was a new behavior for me.  I then started thanking God for how far He has brought me in dealing with this fear.  It was now somewhere around 2 am!  Then I started doing the math!  hahaha  "If I fall asleep right now, I can get 4 hours of sleep!"  Then the next storm came through.  I never got out of the bed!  The last time I looked at the clock it was 3 AM. 
The next thing I remember is Max shouting for me to GET UP!  It was 6 AM and it was storming AGAIN! 

So my question is, "why in the world did I wake up singing Ice, Ice Baby???!!!" 

It is still pouring down rain and it feels like a cleansing rain.  Maybe I can catch a nap this morning!  Maybe I should just do some "Joy Dancing"  =)    That's the plan.....first a shower then some "joy dancing" with Daddy God!!!   I'm praying for YOU to have a most blessed day!  WORD TO YOUR MOTHER!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Gratitude

Several years ago Max and went on a retreat with some other leaders in our church.  It was led by a ministry couple (who I cannot for the life of me remember their names!).  The thing that most stands out to me about this trip was the day we were told about the gratitude list!  They had a video of a man who had become almost a recluse in his home.  He had isolated himself from the outside world.  I don't remember the whole story, just the gratitude list that he started one day.  He just started writing down on a list the things he was grateful for!  Things like, air to breath.  Flowers, the sun that warms the day, rain that makes things grow, the ability to breath air into his lungs.....and it grew longer each day!  The video they showed us was of him standing before a church congregation reading his gratitude list that went on for I know at least a half an hour!!!  This really made an impression on my heart and I have never forgotten it.

Over the years Max and I have kept gratitude lists' and shared them with each other.  It makes for some really sweet conversations!  We have had our kids make a gratitude list.  Just making the list is awesome but sharing it and hearing what others are grateful for is just inspiring!!!  God is GOOD and worthy to be praised! 

We have so much to be thankful for and when we recognize it and express a pure gratitude for it I believe it causes our relationship with God to deepen and grow in ways that will block the lies of the enemy!

You know the world tries to make us feel unworthy of the goodness that God has for us!  God loves us and when we are not afraid to shout of the good he does for us, the enemy has to shut his mouth!  There are troubles, but God is bigger than ANYTHING the devil can put in my way!  So when the devil starts in with the lies, I just replace them with The Truth and begin to speak of the the things that I am grateful for.  I promise you that it will change your life!  It has changed mine!!!!!!! 

I am praying for YOU today!!!  For the LOVE of God to overflow in you and spill out all over those around you!!!!!!!  

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Growing Time

I have always dreaded waiting times!  Times when you have to wait on something (or someone).  I am almost always early everywhere I go because I dont want people having to wait on ME!  Over the years I have tried to make good use of times when I am forced to wait.  If I'm at a doctors office and have to wait, I have my phone so I can keep up with the world,  I read the paper, or return emails, or look over my datebook, sometimes I even journal.  The same is true when waiting on the Lord.  We are not to just sit and twiddle our thumbs until we see manifestation!
 I believe we are to stay in action, always preparing for what we will be called to step into next. 
A lot can happen during those times we are waiting on the Lord!  Sometimes bigger things happen during the waiting than the thing we were waiting for!!!

I spoke with my publisher yesterday and it looks like my book will be complete in about a month!  This was good and bad news....you see I was really hoping it would be finished sooner.  So as I let go of my disappointment, Daddy God began to speak to me!  I knew almost immediately that it was ok, that His Hand is still on me, that I'm and still operating in His favor!!!  It is good to be loved by Jesus =)  He is always on time!  (an attribute I was remended of by a friend!!) 

So, because I am self publishing and am responsible for all things financial, I will be doing a lot of self promotion of the book.  I am going to take this time to collect my thoughts and put together a plan to promote my book!!!  Today I am thanking the Lord for giving me the time, that I didn't even know I needed until He gave it to me, to work on this portion of preparing to release my story! 

Daddy God says to us:

"Come away with me,Come away with Me
It's never too late, it's not too late
It's not too late for you!
I have a plan for you
I have a plan for you
It's gonna be wild!!!
It's gonna be great!!!
It's gonna be full of Me!!!!!!!!"

One of my (many) favorite songs!  By Jesus Culture!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Joy Dancing!

So how do I start off a Monday morning???  JOY DANCING!  Got the kids off to school and hubby out the door.  At last....alone time.  Quiet.  Did a few chores and settled in for some quiet time with God.  I just randomly opened my Bible to Zephaniah and my eyes feel upon the highlighted verse 3:17 =) 

The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior (Who saves)!  He will rejoice over you with joy;  He will rest in silent satisfaction and in His love He will be silent and make no mention of past sins, or even recall them; He will exult over you with singing!!!  Zeph. 3:17   (Amplified)

I can see Him spinning (DANCING) around me with JOY!  Not thinking about all my mistakes and past failures!!!!  He is shouting over ME with JOY!!!!

So I cranked up the tunes and danced with my Daddy God this morning =)  We had a wonderful time dancing and laughing together.  I poured out my love and gratitude to Him and He rejoiced over me =) 
There is NO WAY to dread the day after intimate fellowship with Jesus!  And because His dance card is never full, I plan on cuttin' a rug again before this day is over!!! 

Sorry there are no photos or video today!  hahaha 

I am praying today for each person who visits this blog to be filled to overflow with JOY!   So if it lifted your spirit in any way...SHARE IT for goodness sake!  Joy is good and it's even better when we spread it around!!!   Maybe you can even squeeze in a little Joy Dancing =)


BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

My Precious Gift

So today I am editing photos from last nights prom!  SENIOR PROM!  My baby boy will graduate next month!  How in the world did this day come SO FAST??  Kindergarten is still so fresh in my mind! 

When Max and I married we had not even talked about having kids.  I always KNEW I would have a house full but I had also had physical problem that prevented me from getting pregnant.  Max and I were married almost 5 years when I got pregnant with Hunter.  I absolutely LOVED being pregnant!  I loved feeling him like butterflies in my tummy =)  My pregnancy went fine but I had to have a c-section.  He was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen!!!  He was just perfect.  I could not believe how much I loved him!!!  I have always been an overprotective mom!  I took being a mother as a very high calling.  I stayed home with Hunter (I kept a couple of other children so I could stay home).  We were together every minute of every day and I loved it!  When it came time for kindergarten I didn't want to send him.  hahaha  BUT, I did, and he did fine.  I sat around and counted the hours until time to pick him up each day!  (He only went half a day!!) 
Elementary school came and went, and then came middle school!  He was growing up so fast.  The summer between 5th-6th grade we were getting ready to go to church camp (Hunter and I with our church).  The day before we left Hunter had been complaining about his leg.  We thought he had hurt it playing basketball.  I decided to take him for an xray to be safe.  As Hunter and I sat in the room the nurse came in and put the xray up and showed us a spot on his bone and told me to prepare myself for cancer!  WHAT???  Max and I took him to Children's hospital (a couple hours away) and he was diagnosed with a bone tumor.  It had developed in his bone and grown from the inside and fractured the bone from the inside!  We collected ourselves and soon found out it was NOT cancer but they had to watch it.  It continued to grow so he had to have surgery a few months later and he has had no other problems!  PRAISE THE LORD!!!

During that time I could never even imagine my life without Hunter!  I prayed like I have never prayed before and I allowed God to love me through it.  God is Jehovah Rapha, our healer!!!!!!!

With each milestone we have faced with our son there has been joy!  I just love him so much =) 

So here we are face to face with the end of one phase of this precious child's  life and the beginning of another very different phase!  Last year I started dwelling on the end of high school and I was having a really hard time with it!  If I would even think about it I would just break down and cry.  I could not face that I would have to "let him go".  One day I just sat in my living-room (alone, except for God) and had a conversation with my Daddy God!  I told him that I didn't want to dread Hunter's future.  I made a choice that day that I was going to hold the past in my memory with a happy heart and live the now with joy, and look to the future with excitement!  I am so excited to see Hunter continue to grow into the man God created him to be.  It is his destiny to walk in the fullness of Christ and the perfect plan that was set for him before he was even born!!!    God's Hand is all over my baby boy and I am so proud to be his mom. 

So any tears you may see falling from this mother's eyes will be tears that come from a place of pure joy and happiness at the accomplishments so far, and the even greater ones to come in the life of my most precious gift, my son! 

                                                  Hunter (left)  Kindergarten Graduation

                                                        First day of school 7th grade
                                                          (after the bone tumor, boot and crutches!)

                                                 Hunter & Max in Destin (our favorite vacations spot)

                                             Hunter (right) marching in a parade.  He is a BEAST on drums!

                                                    My little man =)  I love him SO MUCH!

                                                        My amazing son, Hunter Max Elrod
                                                                         Senior 2011

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!
    

Breaking Free

I spent (too) many years living in bondage.  The spirit of fear overtook my life!  Of course guilt, condemnation, insecurity, and isolation were as much a part of my life as breathing.  It took all my energy to "pretend" I was ok, that I had it all together.  I'm not even sure I pulled it off.  For the most part, I think those around me thought I was ok.  There was nobody at that time that knew the "real" me!  I was not listening to God during that time.  I was talking TO Him but not WITH Him!  The enemy, however, had all access!  I believed all the things he was telling me.  I allowed him to steal my confidence! 

I believed that my past would determine my future so the present seemed pretty hopeless.  That is how the enemy works.  He keeps us so focused on lies that we don't see the TRUTH!  I'm not sure when it happened but the time came when that TRUTH started to rise up.  I started reading scripture and was reminded Who I belonged to!  I still spent too long trying to "figure it all out" when all I had to do was just trust and believe.  It really IS that simple!  See, that is another lie the devil tells us.  That we have to jump through all these hoops to be delivered from bondage!  That we have to do enough "good" to cover all the "bad" we have done.  That we have to take our punishment for past mistakes to be forgiven.  ALL LIES!!!  Once it "clicked" with me that all I needed was Christ and His Truth,  my whole life changed!  I began to renew my mind by flooding it with God's Word, and BELIEVING IT!!! 

Satan wants our confidence in who we are most of all.  If he can get that,  his work is pretty much over because we will do the rest for him!  That is why Proverbs 4:23 teaches us to guard our hearts with all diligence!!!  Once we get in our hearts that we are children of the King of Kings we cannot help but walk in the confidence that NOTHING can separate us from that FATHER!  That truth will make you physically stand a little taller!!!

I was able to break free from the bondage and that is proof enough that it is possible!  God is a life changer!  His Word is TRUE!!  ALL OF IT!  In His Word He replaces every lie of the enemy with HIS TRUTH and PROMISES! 

Do not misunderstand me, there is still trouble in this world, but we have been given the ability to overcome the things of this world!  We have everything we need to rise above, press through, and retain JOY! 

WoooHoooo!!!  Anybody feel a shout rising up??!!  hahaha

If there is a topic you would like for me to blog about please let me know!  I am so loving the messages I am getting =)  I have some rockin' blog peeps!!!!!! 

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Happy Anniversary!

Today I thank Daddy God for blessing me with my most perfect helpmate!!!  My Max and I have been married 22 years today =)  We met in December of 1988 when I was working the overnight shift at a convenience store.  Max came in about 3 o'clock in the morning on his way to deer camp with his face covered in camo paint!  haha  We started talking and he stayed there until I got off at 7am!  He took the trash out for me!  What a catch!!  We went out on our first date December 14th, 1988.  We attended my work Christmas party.  From that day we were inseparable!  He asked me to marry him on Valentine's day (1989).  Yes I know we had only known each other 2 months!!!  TRUST ME, everyone let us know that we didn't know what we were doing, and we probably didn't!  We were married Arpil 15th, 1989!  TAX DAY!!  WooHoo

I cannot remember NOT loving Max!  It feels like we have been together for our entire lives.  We "grew up" together during the first 10 years we were married!  We are still growing up! 

I love my Max more everyday!  I love that he loves God.  I love that he loves me.  I love that he loves our son.  I love that he loves the children we care for.  I love how we can just sit beside each other and not have to say a word.  I love how we crank up the radio on road trips and sing old songs.  I love when I hear him call me his bride =)  I love his heart!!!

I have now been married longer than I was single!  (Random I know but that is just how my mind works!)

Loving another person is a choice and I am glad he chose to love me, and I am glad I chose to love him! We make that choice everyday.  God has blessed our obedience to honor HIM in our love.  The One who IS Love connects our hearts. 

God blessed me in a special way when He joined my life with Max's.  He is as much a part of me and I am a part of him.  So today I celebrate LOVE!  TRUE LOVE!  FOREVER LOVE!

April 15, 1989

First year of marriage (why do I look so SAD??!!  hahaa)

One of our MANY photo shoots!  Max just loved these!  haha

                                                                 I LOVE MY MAX =)

                                                                            

So to all those who said it would never last!!  Na, Na, Na, Na, Na!!  Just kidding!  Just futher proof that God STILL performs miracles!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

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PAID IN FULL!!!

Praise The Lord!!!  As of this morning my book is COMPLETELY paid off!!!  God has worked in and through people to accomplish this task.  I am excited for the release (still do not have an exact date).  I hope to have more information on that when I speak to the publisher today or tomorrow =) 

As I stood drying my hair this morning I reflected on this recent journey and with each miracle came strength and assurance that our God is GOOD and He is LARGE AND IN CHARGE!

He reminded me this morning about speaking TRUTH!  His Word is truth and His promises are REAL!  I have several confessions that I speak over myself from God's Word.  I'm going to share the one I confess the most!!! 

Psalm 91

1HE WHO [a]dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].
2I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!

3For [then] He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.

4[Then] He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you trust and find refuge; His truth and His faithfulness are a shield and a buckler.

5You shall not be afraid of the terror of the night, nor of the arrow (the evil plots and slanders of the wicked) that flies by day,

6Nor of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor of the destruction and sudden death that surprise and lay waste at noonday.

7A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near you.

8Only a spectator shall you be [yourself inaccessible in the secret place of the Most High] as you witness the reward of the wicked.

9Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place,(A)

10There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent.

11For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].

12They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.(B)

13You shall tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the serpent shall you trample underfoot.(C)

14Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness--trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].

15He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

16With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation.

Then I SHOUT;  TAKE THAT DEVIL!!!!!!!

My message to the devil is this; I'm going to winning; even when it looks like I'm losing I'm WINNING!!!!!!! 

I encourage you to SPEAK to the mountain in your life! Confess Psalm 91 OUT LOUD!  There is power in speaking The Word out loud.   SPEAK to the enemy, remind him WHO you belong to! 

I am falling in love with the Blog world and all the wonderful people =)  I absolutely LOVE the messages, emails and comments so keep them coming!  I am a stay at home wife and mom so I don't get out much!  hahaha    Now bless someone with your WORDS today!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

A Kept Woman!

Ok, so in one of my first blogs I talked about the process of getting my book published.  I knew from the very beginning that I would not base any decision on money but on what God told me to do.  He told me to publish my story (really it's "our" story because He has everything to do with it!).  I didn't consider the cost and took that first step of faith.  I remember the very first "seed" that was sown into my book.  It was $100.00 and the day it was given to me I had to meet my grandmother for lunch.  We had a waitress that day that was very pregnant and after talking with her found out she also had 3 other small children.  I wanted to give her the $100.00!  I asked the Lord and just didn't have an settled feeling about it, so I kept the money.  The next morning as I was ironing school clothes and watching Joyce Meyer I heard her say something that changed my thinking.  She was talking about sowing seed and that we always think of it as money.  Not all seed is money.  It can be our time, our prayers, our words, ect.  Then I heard the Lord tell me that the $100.00 was for my book and that my story IS my seed!  I am sewing my story of healing and freedom into lives and that God will use my story to change, heal and comfort others! 

As the days and weeks went on God called more people to sow seed into my book and my life!  I have received money and prayers, and encouragement!  God always comes through and provides everything I need to do this work He has called me to! 

Yesterday I woke up and as I was laying in bed collecting my thoughts for the day, I heard the enemy speaking to me.  He was saying, "Where's your money?"  "You know you have to have $430.00 in 2 days and you don't have it?"  "Your bank account is going to be overdrawn!"  "When the publisher sees you have no money they will not publish your book!"   I am being very transparent here so I am thrusting that you understand my heart in sharing this.  You see, we had $8.00 in our account and the publisher will draft the LAST PAYMENT for the book ($420.00) on Thursday!  I pointed my finger at the devil and said, "STOP IT!!  You LIE!!!  My Daddy God has already provided my needs!!!!!"

I thanked God for being my provider and for loving me above the lies of my enemy!  I took a shower and as I stepped out of the shower I had a text message asking me to call when I could talk.  I made that call and as I hung up, I had $200.00 for the book! I praised God and thanked Him all morning!  By the afternoon I had another $100.00 seed money!!!!  MY DADDY IS THE BEST!!!!!  How could I NOT trust Him????? 

I was reminded of the verse
“What then shall we say to [all] this? If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?] He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things?” Romans 8:31-32

His plan for me is so good and so big!!!  He is for me and He has given me all authority to cast the enemy off of me!  I do not have to accept the lies of the devil! 

As I end today I have to say that on the way to town this morning my husband got a phone call and when he hung up he looked at me and said, "YOU BOOK IS PAID FOR!"  All praise and glory go to the KING OF KINGS!  It's another day in the blessing and living the miracle that is, life with Jesus =)

I am believing that you are encouraged today!!!!  I am challenging you to encourage someone else today!!!  If God has placed instruction on you to give money, time, or just a word to someone...DO IT!  Do not count the cost because what you receive will be more that you could ever imagine!!!!!!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

New Shoes!

There are not too many words that bring the kind of excitement as those two little words, "NEW SHOES"

Can you feel the flutter in your chest right now just thinking about it?!  hahaha  I have had a love affair with shoes since as long as I can remember!  In fact, my earliest memory is going to my Grandmother's house and playing in her shoes!  She had a closet FULL!  She kept them all in their boxes so her only "rule" was that I had to make sure I put them back in the right box and stacked them back like I found them!  This activity lasted for hours!  I would pretend I was different people with each pair I played in. 

Well, over the years I have collected a few of my own shoes!  My husband can not for the life of him understand my love for shoes.  We recently went on a trip (with my son's school band) to Washington DC.  We stayed for 3 nights and as I unpacked our suitcases in the hotel room I realized that without even thinking I had packed NINE pairs of shoes!!  Ok, mybe I have a problem but I will deal with THAT later! 

Several weeks ago in church, out pastor announced that in addition to our regular tithe, we would also have opportunity to give offerings towards our new building.  That day (after giving our tithe) I didn't have any money to give but I wanted to give!  As I dug through my purse thinking I would at the very least fine some change in the bottom, there was not even a penny!  I was holding a pen and looked up at my husband and said, "I do not have anything."  He said, "You have that pen, give it because they will need a pen to sign papers for the new building!"  So, I gave my pen.  The next week I was prepared with my offering but when the time of offering came I heard the Lord tell me to give my shoes!  WHAT???  I tried to ignore it but it was very clear.  Just to give my shoes! I looked down and I had on a really cute pair of shoes, and I thought, there is no way I can give my shoes!  It just didn't make sense to me.  So I gave my money and kept my shoes! 

The next week as soon as Pastor started preparing for the offering I heard the Lord once again ask for my shoes.  But this time He told me to give him my shoes because He had NEW SHOES for me!  This is the message He imparted to me:  "You have been walking this path in YOUR shoes and now it's time to offer your walk up to me and I will give you new shoes to walk a new path, that is My path, it is BIG and it is GOOD!"  
I was shaking and calm all at the same time!  I looked down and I had on the SAME SHOES I had on the week before!  I tried to reason my way out of giving my shoes!  I would be too embarrassed.  What if someone saw me and thought I was crazy.  How am I going to explain walking out of church with NO SHOES?  As the bucket got closer to me I slipped my shoes off and sat them down beside me (almost sitting on them).  My heart was about to beat out of my chest!  When the bucket got to me I put them in and passed it very quickly!  I could see one of my boys who was sitting beside me with his mouth wide open in disbelief at what he had just seen!  I leaned over and told him not to say a word!  hahaa  I knew in an instant that I had obeyed God and that there was nothing that could convince me otherwise!  I felt a power come over me and a closeness to my Daddy God who I knew was going to take care of everything!!! 

As I reflected over this I am settled in myself that Daddy God loves me more than I can imagine.  He has a plan for me.  He spoke to me in a language only I would understand.  He instructed me to give of something that has way more value that a pair of shoes.  See, the physical giving up of my shoes was just an act of obedience.  It was "my" path!  It was "me" trying to make sure everything worked out.  It was giving up my own walk and walking in a complete trust in the ONE that already holds my past, present and future! 

I have learned (well, I am still learning) that when God speaks to me to move, I MOVE, and TRUST HIM to the details!  Then enemy tries to throw all the details up in my face but God already has that!  If He instructs us to move, that is really all we need to know!   Obedience always brings a blessing =)

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Stronger!

Watch out world, God's little warrior is gaining strength and power!!!  So, I shared the excerpt from my book yesterday and I'm not gonna lie, it was a little battle as I once again made the choice to expose more of myself.  I could hear the enemy whispering in my ear, "Why are you doing this?  You are so stupid!  No one cares! "  There was more but I will spare you!

 BUT GOD!  God's voice was much louder that the enemy who only wants to destroy me and keep others from being restored!  God spoke to me and comforted me in a way only He can do.  The very first thing I heard Him say is, "I love you"  then He reminded me that this journey is not all about ME!!!  It is about HIM and about HIS LOVE, and HIS POWER to heal and restore!

Once again He called on those beautiful vessels to hold me and encourage me!  All the messages and emails reassure me that LOVE IS ALIVE AND IN THE HOUSE!!!!  I may have a supernatural Holy Spirit that works on my behalf, but I am still human and God knows, as humans, we need LOVE!  What I am trying to say is THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE! 

It really is all about the LOVE! 

I want to also encourage all of you to communicate with me!  Leave a comment, join the blog, email me, or, if you are not already my "friend" connect with me on Facebook =)     I'm also on Twitter, but it's still kinda confusing to me! 

Have a beautiful Monday!  It rained here and washed all the pollen away and now the sun is out and everything is deep green!!!  It is a "bathing in God's LOVE" kind of day =) 


BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Excerpt from my book

Today I am sharing an excerpt from my book, "Familiar Stranger; Journal of a Rape Survivor"   that will be released soon.

Each time I take the opportunity to open up and share my story I get a little anxious but I am trusting the Lord Who is leading me,  to cover me and my story with His anointing.  Most of my book is made up of entries into my journal.  I did, however go back and kind of "set up" each section.  This part that I am sharing today is talking about my experience after the rape and my first contact with the police and hospital. 


(Excerpt from, "Familiar Stranger; Journal of a Rape Survivor")

When the police car pulled up, we walked outside. There were two officers, a male and a female. The male officer was the one who asked the questions. The female just sat there. We sat in the car as I gave my report. I didn’t give any details, only that I had been raped by someone I did not know. I said I went with him because I thought he was taking me home. I had not asked to go to his house. I told them he drove a van. I gave them his first name. That is really all I remember in the police car. They then drove me to the hospital. I remember going into an exam room and standing on brown paper to get undressed. They combed my hair into a bag. Scraped under my fingernails. Then came the hard part. The exam itself. I remember being very cold. To the point of shaking. I was already very sore. A lady took photos of me. Without my clothes. They gave me a pill, and a shot, of what I do not remember. They kept my clothes and gave me other clothes to put on. The thing I remember most is that no one touched me unless they were retrieving evidence. No one came in and put their arms around me and said everything was going to be OK. Maybe because it wasn’t. I remember the police talking to me about pressing charges, and if I went to trial whether or not we would use my real name. At first I told them I didn’t care what I had to do, I wanted him to go to jail. I’m not sure what all else happened right after that, but the next thing I can remember is the lady police officer asking me if she could take me home. I said yes, I really just wanted to go home and take a shower. I wanted to see my boyfriend. I was so afraid of how hurt he was going to be.

I really do not know how to end this blog so I will simply sign out with....BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING

I'll Take The Best Please!!!

Have you ever thought about why we sometimes just accept less than the best?  I was really thinking about this the other day.  I know that God wants only the very best for me yet I have found myself accepting less because I feel selfish taking more than my share!!  The closer I grow in my relationship with my Daddy God, the more Satan is exposed!  See, it is our enemy that wants us to stay beaten down, not receiving what God wants for us.

 I can remember when I started the journey through facing my attack and all that went with that, I would journal every day.  Most days would consist of, waking from a nightmare, realizing it was real, trying to NOT think about it, having flashbacks, writing them down, trying to work, be a mom, be a wife, hold down my job.  Then at the end of the day I would look back and think, is THIS my life?  I allowed the enemy to get a lot of talking in through those days.  And the killer is, I BELIEVED HIM!  I believed that somehow it was all my fault.  I believed him when he told me I was so damaged that I just needed to find a way to live with it because it wasn't going to get any better.    When he told me my husband despised me and everyone around me didn't want to hear or help me.  I believed him when he told me that this was what I deserved!  Satan would always bring up my past and all the hurt that went along with it.  BUT GOD!!!  My hero, my Savior, my protector, my healer!  He is my TRUTH-TELLER!

 It was only when I started listening to God that I began to heal and move forward.  He replaced all the lies with THE TRUTH!  He created me to love and be loved and that is all I need to know!  Yes, I have been hurt.  We all have!  But HE loves bigger that the hurt!!!  I no longer have the need to be fed by lies!  I am worthy of receiving the VERY BEST!  God sent His son, Who knew no sin, to be sin, so that through Him we might become the righteousness of God (from 2 Cor. 5:21).  It pleases the Lord when we confess that we are His righteousness, because we are laying hold of what He suffered and died to give us!!!  I for one am going to graciously ACCEPT what He died to give ME! I am His righteousness!  There is still an enemy that continues to throw things up in my face but God loves me with a love that is above anything the devil and dig up!!!

 I hope that you are encouraged today!  Make THIS the day that the voice of Christ becomes louder that the voice of our enemy!

 Tomorrow I am going to post an excerpt from my book!!!  This is another biggy for me so be kind!!  hahaha

 BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!!!

The Power of Encouragement

Wowsers!!!  I have to tell ya, when I started this blog I had no idea what to expect, but the response has been amazing!!!  My email and Facebook message box has never seen this much action!  By the way, if you are not already my "friend" on Facebook, I would love for you to connect with me there =) 

I have been privileged to read stories of women who have struggled with some of the issues I have blogged about and it inspires me to see that so many are breaking free!  The overall response has been nothing but encouragement!  From people I have know my entire life, to strangers and all those in between!  I started thinking about just how important encouragement is. 

The Bible says in 1 Thess.  5:22,  Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.   There are many verses in the Bible where God encourages others, and we are called to do as He did!  I'm going to be completely honest and tell you that with each word of encouragement I receive I can physically feel a change in my spirit!  It feels stronger and more confident.  Encouragement feeds our inner man and makes us stronger for the task at hand! 

I remember back years ago when I was first invited to give my testimony at a Ladies Retreat.  I was scared to death!  I thought I was going to throw up or pass out, it was really bad.  I went outside by myself and tried to talk to God, but I didn't even know what to say.  A friend found me and gave me a rock that she had found.  She had put a verse on the rock.  She encouraged me to press on and  tell my story to help all those ladies that were there.  I collected myself and went inside, spoke in front of those ladies and I had that rock in my hand the whole time!!!  I dare to say that has been 10 years ago (maybe longer) and I STILL have that rock!  I always have in either in my purse or in my car or maybe sitting on my bathroom counter!  ENCOURAGEMENT is a very powerful gift that we ALL have!

(My rock of encouragement!)

We all benefit from an encouraging word.  The story that I am sharing with the world is so personal and I have to be honest and tell you that it is not always easy but God makes it possible =)  And He places people around us and uses them as His vessels.  Let me tell ya, I have some beautiful vessels in my life!  Those vessels keep it real and keep me going with their words of love, support and instruction! 

I'm trying not to make my blogs so long that it takes forever to read!  My husband asked me last night if it was hard for me to come up with something to blog about each day!!!!  Hahahah, I told him it was taking everything in me not to blog 10 times a day!  I just have SO MUCH inside of me and I find it difficult at times to just pace myself!  hahaha  So with that, I will end for now.  Please know that while I may not know who you are I am praying ENCOURAGEMENT over each person that happens to read these words!  God is so good and He is faithful to hear and deliver!  Encourage someone today....you may just find that it bounces off of them and smacks you right in the face =)

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

Who's to Blame?

One of the issues as a rape survivor is, who's to blame?  For years I blamed myself.  Did the decisions I made lead to my attack?  Did I ask for it?  Was I just to stupid to see it coming?  And the big one; was God trying to get my attention or teach me a lesson?  I struggled with these questions (and many more) for years.  I settled, for a time, on blaming God, but not in a bad way!  I was scared to be mad at God so I just figured He had His reasons and I would just be gracious and accept it and move on.  I even thanked God for choosing me to be sexually assaulted!!! 

 WOW!  I blow my own mind sometimes at the things I believe!  I find it very interesting that I never placed the blame where it belonged.  I never blamed the rapist.  Don't get me wrong, I knew what he did was wrong, and I was hurt on a level that I cannot even express in words, but the emotion that I reserved for the rapist was, wait for it.......sadness!  Yes, I felt sorry for him!  Even before I knew why, I felt sorry for him.  I just could not for the life of me wrap my head around how he could have been so evil.  Why was he so evil?

  It was only after God reveled some TRUTH to me that the blame was to rest on the one responsible for all that evil.  It was Satan!  The ruler of the darkness.  See, God is LIGHT and there is NO darkness in Him!  It is the enemy who comes to kill, steal, and destroy.  God comes to give LIFE and give it in abundance!!!  I was giving God credit for something the devil was responsible for!  My Daddy God is a life GIVER!!!  Satan is a life killer!  I also came to the understanding that my rapist made choices, out of his free will, he allowed himself to be so influenced by the enemy that he was capable of  caring out the unspeakable acts that day.  God didn't give him the ability or instruction to rape me! 

 I do not have ALL the answers but I do know what the Lord has reveled to me and shown me.  Everything else is on a need-to-know basis and when I hit that point I replace my questions with TRUST and FAITH that God is the ultimate winner and I will be delivered to my place at His feet when HE sees fit, NOT when the devil says so!  See, if it were up to Satan, I believe he would have taken me out that day.  BUT GOD!  God was with me then and He has been with me everyday since, and He still has work for me to do in HIS Name! 

 When I share this belief, some have asked me why I think God "allowed" this to happen to me.  Why do bad things happen to good people???  In case you haven't noticed, we live in a fallen world!  All I know is that God is GOD and I trust Him.  He is ABOVE Satan and his demons that roam this earth!  And a day is coming when HE will stand and even the demons will bow down!  I am on HIS side, no matter what!  I have had this vision of the demons bowing and all evil bowing like cowards, and all of GOD'S CHILDREN are standing behind Him peeking around His robe, safe behind DADDY!!!!  At that time we will no longer have to exist in a world filled with evil.  BUT, until that day comes, it is up to us (as Christians) to speak TRUTH into as many lives as we can!  Greater is HE that is living inside of me!  We have the Holy Spirit as our helper, and we are to be a witness to the LOVE and SALVATION of Jesus Christ!  Let's live our lives like we have been changed, and be LIFE CHANGERS!!!!!

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!

The Beauty of Letting Go

There have been many times in my life when I have had to 'let go' and trust God but yesterday as I prepared to share my story was like no other time I can remember! I have shared my life with a select circle and a few strangers but as my finger pressed that "enter" key, that word "enter" took on a whole other meaning!  As my hand shook I was about to open my very heart for everyone to enter into and stroll around and really get to know the real me.  The me that has a past, the me that allowed darkness to overtake my life, the me that hurt, the me that struggled with fear....but as I pressed "enter" I was also inviting everyone to enter into a life that has been changed, into a life of restoration, a life made complete by the healing powers of my Daddy God!  So as I pressed that computer key I "let go" and everything in me was overtaken with complete TRUST in God!  My life is His masterpiece and I am excited to show it off! 

I started receiving messages within FIVE MINUTES!!!  I was blown away by the raw and honest words that were being sent to me!  Hearts were deeply touched (mine felt like it was going to explode!), and relationships were mending.  God is on the move and I can hardly contain myself!!!  I am super stoked to have all of you walking with me and cannot wait to witness all the amazing things that our Father is going to work through each of us as he weaves us together as His children to go out and be LIFE CHANGERS!!!!

Some have asked about the book progress and I will just say that God has taken care of every detail in the process!  When I knew that the Lord was instructing me to publish my story I had NO idea of how, what, where!!!  hahaha  I first needed my journal edited!  I had a friend from high school that took on the task of taking the journey into my mind and edit my LIFE!  She did this for no other reason than to help me!  I  know it was not easy for her because she has a family and a job and she took this on during what spare time she had and did an outstanding job!!!  I researched a few publishing companies and settled on one fairly quick.  Because I am an unknown author and I didn't  want my story to be altered, my only option was to self publish.  This meant that I would be completely responsible for paying for the publishing and promotion.  As the publishing rep explained to me the cost (at that time is would be $1500.00), I told him that I was trusting God to clear this path because it was HIM that instructed me to move in this direction.  I knew that God wouldn't call me to do something that He had not already worked out!  Max and I being in full time ministry we do not have thousands of dollars laying around the house!  lol  The rep told me that he could bill me in 3 payments of just over $500 for the next three months.  At that time I told him that I would talk with Max and let him know what we decide in a few days.  Max and I agreed from the very beginning that money would not even be a part of any decision we made.  Money wouldn't hold us back from doing what we KNEW the Lord had told us to do.  That very afternoon a woman gave me $100 and said she wanted to sow seed into my life!  I put it into an envelope and labeled it "Teena's Book--Seed Money"....As I shared with a few people that I was publishing my story (non of which did I ever ask for any help)...I began to receive more "seed"....in 4 days I had $500, my first payment for publishing!!!  I called the rep and told him I was ready to sign up and make my first payment.  As we started setting up there were some problems with my bank card.  It seemed that there was a limit as to how much I could charge a day.  Instead of it ending there, the rep said to me "Do no worry about this, it will work out"...within about 20 minutes he had re figured me a deal where my payment were $430 for three months!!!  See, God really is THAT good!!!

I made that payment and by the next day I already had received enough "seed" to make my next payment!  I have learned so much about TRUSTING God through this.  When He says, "all your need with be provided," He MEANS ALL YOUR NEED WILL BE PROVIDED!!!  My last payment is due the 14th of this month and I know that even though it is not in my envelope in the "natural' God has ALREADY supernaturally supplied it!!!!!!!!!!! 

So that is the story within the story of how God is using THIS child to accomplish HIS Will =)  

BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING =)